Couples
list one of the major problems in their relationship as non communication. This
is said to be what opens the door to the wandering eye. It starts innocent
enough, take for instance a man or woman looking for someone to lend an ear.
You know just listen.
Married
people find comfort in one another.
They have the daily routine of marriage and
family in common. This also can pose a problem when it seems to be the only
things you have left in common.
Many
couples face this problem in their relationship. Are you willing to just listen
and be open to your mate? One person or the other may feel their mate never
lets them express their feelings without being judgmental. Those unmarried couples may feel overlooked because their partner shrugs off their concerns with being over sensitive.
This
should be food for thought to those who may be reading this and presently
experiencing problems in this area. One
thing is for sure if you don't start to listen sooner or later they'll find
someone who will. Now that may be a friend, relative or that nice co-worker at
your job. What puzzles me (and I'm sure your partner would feel the same) is that you would find it more comfortable to talk to other
folks about your issues instead of the person (your partner) you are having those issues with.
Perhaps
this would be okay if your friend/family were licensed therapist.
Since that might not be the case the
alternative is to look for a professional counselor. Marriage counseling or couples counseling can
be a tremendous help in getting to the heart of what matters hopefully on the
road to saving your relationship.
Not
everyone is keen to the idea of counseling.
This can come from both sides male
or female.
Ask
yourself. “Can I really sit down with a
total stranger and tell them my most intimate thoughts and feelings”? It’s
difficult for a woman but it’s hard as hell for a man.
Men
don’t share emotions well; okay maybe they do but mostly while attending or
watching a sporting event.
There in this environment they are secure to show
emotion by letting out a loud whoop as verbal communication that something good
or bad just happened.
Physical
expression of emotion is displayed with a high five or a chest bump.
Hell
there may be a hug or two thrown if their team really just did something great.
A
woman watching this act may wonder to herself,” Damn he doesn’t do all of that
after we have sex”.
That
may be very scary stuff to explore. It’s the opening of Pandora’s Box and
discovering the pain that you no longer are. The fact of the matter is there is
going to be pain.
There’s the pain of not knowing and there’s the pain of knowing.
Then there is the pain of recovery
from what you now know.
This
is something both parties experience. Once you can communicate your feelings to
your partner it should lead to opening the door to awareness and hopefully a
step in the right direction.
Larry enjoys spending time with his family, writing (Larry has completed and published his first book) and playing golf.
You can find him online at his book's facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/How-to-cheat-and-not-get-busted/115333998547614?ref=hl) his blog http://larrydm.blogspot.com or his Twitter page (https://twitter.com/LarryDWWilf)